Fuckers!

If you happen to see a three-man band of buskers with guitar, violin, and churango, be a pal and let me know, I gotta come kick their music-loving asses.

I call dibs

on this place. You know, for when it all goes down and we have to scram.

Answer in the form of a question, champ

My boss just won a bunch of dough on The Price Is Right. And a kayak.

I would like to get on a quiz show. I think I could win something easier than Jeopardy but harder than the show with fifth graders.

Or maybe America's Next Top Candy Eater.

And when they bark they shoot bees at you

I'm worried about the bees.

on the other hand, this is awesome. The perfect gift for those who are hard to buy for and have beef with the Man of Steel.

Murder Pizza Retrial

I see in the news that the murder pizza guy is getting a new trial. This was a big murder case in our neighborhood. I call the pizza place "Murder Pizza" which I think has a delightfully horrifying sound to it. In fact I think the pizza place should just accept fate and change their name. It is such a crummy little hole, with bars on the windows, it should totally just embrace the whole sordid thing. We're Murder Pizza! Free Pizza if you Get Murdered While Picking Up Your Pizza! Cannot be combined with other offers.

Such a weird case though. I have such a vivid mental picture of the whole thing for some reason. Like a re-enactment on America's Most Wanted. There's this kinda stout kid, wearing shorts and a yellow slicker. He's weaving down the sidewalk drunk. Then when the other kid starts talking trash, he carefully unfolds a swiss army knife, maybe first he gets the wrong blade (scissors? I didn't want scissors!).

What the hell, you know? A swiss army knife? It's not even menacing. Like if your getaway car is a VW bug or something.

thanks all for the kind comments about the poor cat. We miss her very much. Sometimes I enter a room expecting her to be there sleeping. Last night I dreamed she came back and was fine. I was like, how? how did she walk all the way home? She was not even an evil zombie cat.

Once I worked with a guy who told a story about the cat coming back. He was living with roommates somewhere in Allston-Brighton. There was some old tomcat that was hanging around. They liked the cat OK but this cat was 'intact' as they say and therefore a nuisance of howling fighting and stinkin. So one night they put the cat in a car and drove him all the way up to the Cambridge common. Folks not living in Boston: it's a few miles, but across a river. A big river.

A few days later of course, the cat was back meowing at the window. He said he felt SO bad about it. I picture a little puss in boots with a bindle, making his way across the bridge. Homeward bound! Man, that guy told great stories. He was awesome. I wish I worked with him again. for one thing he reminded me of my dad, mostly because he had the same mustache. And I find that amusing. Plus the great stories. One time he got in a fight at an all-night diner and bit a guy on the leg! ha! Well. It was funnier when he told it. Man.

here's the part of the post where I bitch about the weather. Why is it below freezing again?

how delightful

it's snowing, or should I say, it's fucking snowing.

My sister was both a model houseguest and drove me insane.