Tuesday, August 31, 2004


Here's why I hate my job. My boss sends email messages like this:

I forget what the parenthesized red figures mean?

Seriously. He does. More than once. And for several years. So I hate my job more than any job I've ever hated, including third-shift stuff and hot-sun stuff. Sunday nights send me into crying fits, and I hate meeting new people because they ask me what I do, and then laugh when I blanch.

Most days at work I don't do much. There's plenty to do, but I have to save my energy for the three flights of stairs that lead to the vending machine. Three flights! That's like, a mile and a half on the moon, right?

I used to play scrabble online, but constantly hovering over alt+tab and twitchily positioning my chair in front of the computer got tiring. Plus, I'm really bad at Scrabble.

For a while I had a little web route. Kind of like the Family Circus where one of the insufferable children wander around unsupervised, tipping over garbage cans and breaking windows. I'd hop from blog to blog looking for crumbs of entertainment and links to further work-avoidance possibilities. But after a while I got sick of the blogs or they all quit updating. The Onion only comes around once a week, so I was bored. Bored enough to resolve to be a better worker! Finish reports on time! Stop exaggerating to my boss about how long it takes to get product samples shipped from the warehouse! Clean up my desk! Get Organized once and For All.

So that lasted about 2 hours. One of those was lunch.

When you're this bored at work, when you hate a job this much, when you loathe your boss and detest your office, and dream of a city-wide blaze destroying the entire tainted block your building sits on, there's only one thing to do: start your OWN blog.

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