Thursday, December 20, 2007

I think i'm nearly done

I got this for my sister:

baby's getting this

The BIL is getting These and these
plus some carbon offsets cuz that's how he rolls.

Someone's kid is getting an item close to this but I couldn't find an exact picture.

And for the yankee swap? I got this ridiculous object:

I very briefly hesitated to actually give it away because the kid decided it was his New Best Friend. But hello, who wants crap in their house, adored or not? It's gone, baby, gone.

Thanks to everyone who made suggestions.
Next year I am going on shutterfly and buying twenty calendars and calling it a day. Damn. I hate shopping.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Six Hour Tour

At Three PM on Thursday, OD left her work with the kid, bound for home--a ten mile trip.

At Six PM, she called me at home to say she was halfway.

At Seven PM, she called to say that she was in the same location she had previously called from.

At Seven-ten PM, I packed a bottle of milk, a cup of hot cocoa, the baby's snowsuit and boots, and four charcoal handwarmers in a backpack, and departed the house to play St. Bernard dog in the Alps.

At Seven-forty PM, I found them in Brookline, still stuck in traffic.

At Nine-ten PM, we arrived home and began digging a spot to put our car.

We tired, yo.

Uh, I know it's in central asia?

Something I ordered for someone accidentally got shipped to Uzbekistan. Uzbekistan! that is a JOKE COUNTRY.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007


Stayed up late on
This is a dog toy for a dog owning relative.

On rec from caramama, for my grandfather:

This is for my dad. It is about the multiverse.

This is a funny book

Here is a book for Unkie Jer. You would be surprised at the selection in this category at amazon. He will find it funny but hopefully not useful.

This is for my mom but I am worried she already has it.

And then.. I want this for a friend's kid is unavailable. Boo.

OD's mom gets this

outdoorsy brother in law
hippie friend and her kid
sister in law

Monday, December 10, 2007

More and more and more

It has been a terrible horrible very bad no good weekend chez mclazy. Someone had a Very Bad Cold and we ended up in the ER, where it suddenly didn't seem as bad as it had at home, but still. Anyway it was just a cold but, you know, bad.

So the result is that my brain is completely fried. I left the keys hanging from the trunk of the car all night on Friday. My neighbors brought it in in the morning. Thank goodness it was too cold for car thieves to be out. Then we forgot to pay our condo dues. Embarrassing. Then OD locked herself out of the house while I was at the grocery store. Brilliant! We should probably be kept away from open flames until we regenerate some brain cells.

Caramama has kindly posted a few more suggestions:
1. humorous items
They are hysterical spoofs on the regular motivational stuff. SO funny! I'm thinking of getting the calendar!

2. Book: Legacy of Ashes, which is a behind the scenes look at the CIA.

3. there are these cool keychains that store and show digital pictures.

4. And the magazine subscription I'm getting my sis is Brain, Child

Many thanks for the suggestions. I am examining them all. Although I seriously thought this pudding would be more popular? Folks on the haircare Yahoo group are crazy for it. It's purple you know.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Hi Larious

I should really be choosing the yankee swap item from among the selections highlighed at

perhaps the older ladies in my office will not be amused, but I will laugh and laugh for days to see them unwrapping, say, this:

Or This:

oh man that would be awesome.

I still have pudding, there are now two pudding candidates, though one claims not to need the pudding. The game is afoot!

My sister is a vegan-punk-artist type. My father is a bit of the conspiracy theorist who enjoys reading about string theory, origins of the universe, and books by Richard Dawkins. My grandfather is a bit bourgeois and enjoys the latest hard to get item that will make him look cool to his fancy friends.


more suggestions, from thatmommy.

"Because we are unoriginal, we are doing the digital photo frame and an entertaining flash drive for my parents(a hippie van for dad, TBD for mom) and a new palm-held GPS and one of these for my partner's geocaching, gadget loving dad. There seem to be lots of USB gadgets around these days.

And because we are mean, boring parents, the kids are getting mostly useful stuff or outdoor toys.
So far, we've picked up a toddler toboggan, some sandbox toys, like this one: a new ride-on toy, an aqua-doodle, and some accessories to things the kids already have(more blocks, more Little People, dinky cars). Most were purchases. I think the only things left that we intend to buy are a few DVDs, some new D0ra and Diego sippy cups and some books.

And princess pull-ups, by special request of the potty-trained toddler. (My kid is weird.)"

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Building the Better Gift Catalogue.

Here are Clementine's excellent suggestions. They may not all suit my strange family, but I am linking them all for the greater good.

I don't need the pudding, but here are some possible gift ideas:

--A fluffy book possibility for your sister: Getting Over It by Anna Maxted. It's v. funny but also makes me cry. It's definitely chick-litish, though, so be careful if she hates that kind of crap. (Me? I love it. Total guilty pleasure.)

--I asked for a Be Good Tonyas CD--they're Canadian and sort of bluegrassy. Not cool, but lovely nonetheless.

--Have you checked out the wonder of Etsy? I'm forever drooling over stuff on there. There are gazillions of gorgeous handmade things on that site. Scarves, t-shirts, hair clips, bags, etc. Love it. I once had a link to the place in my sidebar before I broke the hell out of my template

--And speaking of handmade things, I like the store Magpie in Davis Sq. They're v. expensive, but I like them anyway (plus then I can visit that new cupcake store! I love their lemon good luck cupcakes).I want cupcakes now. NOW.

--I don't know about gadgets, though I do know Petunia swears by her Creative Zen MP3 player (I think that's what the cool kids call them, anyway).Ah yes. My dad has already used and destroyed one of these suckers. OD's is lost...possibly in the robbery but we couldn't remember. Hmmm.

--Hand-embroidered t-shirts are wicked easy and v. cheap, too. I use the Sublime Stitching patterns cuz I super suck at drawing, but if you can freehand it you'll be even better off. I did one for my best friend this year and I know she's going to pee when she sees it.hand....embroidered??? oh boy. in my other, more accomplished life, I hope. Good for you. Holy cats. hand embroidered.

--I've been stalking Nova Naturals' website for the baby; they have some wooden toys and Waldorf dolls for decent prices, and it's all natural/hippy/Fair Trade/organic crap there. True confession: I spent 2 hours on Friday night looking for a cheap but nice Waldorf doll for the E-meister. I finally bought one from the Nova Naturals' site; it was easily $10 cheaper than any other doll I saw.I don't know what a waldorf doll is, but there is some cute hippie shit on this site. I will be able to find something for my hippie friend's kid. brill.

--For anyone who can handle sugar: Anything from Burdicks Chocolates or Lake Champlain Chocolates. Harbor Sweets are great, too.Dude. you don't have to tell me about the harbor sweets. we ate up all of them the day after you brought them. Awesome.

--Most people I know love their Crocs, so those are always a good gift option in my family/circle of friends. my dad likes his too. he's like, why don't you have some? But I think I would be cold. I am always cold.

--Also, my new favorite gift: Magazine subscriptions! My favorite is Bust, but I'll pony up for mainstream pubs as well. It may be too early to get the kid a magazine. But I want to. My mom usually gives me Cook's Illustrated. OD usually gives me national geo. They have National Geo 'little kids'. It is full of ffff's.

--Other things I like: Making a donation in someone's name (I'm hoping to make a gift of honeybees to Heifer International for my brother and his fiancee); handmade scarves; homemade hot cocoa (I have a rad recipe--email me if you want it); gift cards to favorite stores (I'm finding that even indie shops have these now, as do online retailers like ReproDepot). So yes, last year we gave the bees to my mother in law and she was completely non-impressed. Next time she gets ACTUAL bees. In a dog's mouth and when he barks he shoots bees at you.

Okay. Those are v. generic gift ideas, but you didn't give us too many details. If you want to say more, I can (maybe) be more helpful.

Good luck!
Oh also, I need something VERY VERY STUPID and hilarious for that horrible, horrible game they make you play at work. Where everyone brings something crummy and you pass around and stuff? I want to bring something so astoundingly awful that it becomes awesome. A weeping clown on velvet. Dancing hamster thing. These hideous candles. One year someone brought a Successories poster and I laughed and laughed. Then I found out it was a non-ironic contribution and felt bad. But seriously? Those are jokes right?

Never Too Late

The pudding still going begging.

Long time reader(s) may recall that last year, we bailed on xmas and bought no gifts.
Now I'm out of practice, I have no idea what to get people. I don't even know what the cool kids are wearing these days. (I suspect they are not wearing ill fitting jeans decorated with spitup and hummus). what does my sister need? probably not a fistful of paperclips. but that's what she'll get if I have to do this alone. My mom will get all the socks that don't match up anymore.

I need help...even if you don't need puddin.

but it is a nice pudding for those with supa-curly hair. perhaps you could make it a gift for someone yourself.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Shopping Scavenger Hunt with PRIZE

I was shipped a very expensive product by mistake.
they are sending me my real item, but they do not want this one back.
Product here.
It is the 16 ounce bottle. Never opened! NIB!

It is not quite two hundred forty dollas worth of puddin', but it's a lot of pudding.

I don't need the pudding but I do need help shopping. So point me to the neatest coolest hardest to find items on the web today, and the pudding can be yours. Send as many 'entries' as you like. I am in the market for baby/toddler things, weird gadgets for my dad, really funny books, and any gadget or tool that makes my life easier (hint: i'm a disorganized slob).

With the amount of traffic I get here, odds of winning are greatly on your side. So go forth! and possess stupidly expensive hair product!

And sorry to the lady in Oklahoma who is missing her pudding. I am sure they will send you your proper items if you give them a call.

Monday, December 03, 2007

What, you're too good to be a member of a marginalized group now?

does this ever happen to anyone else? You call up or run into someone you've been out of touch with for a long time, and she looks really nervous to see you, and after beating around the bush for a while, finally she mumbles through her fist that she's living with her "boyfriend"??
I get the sense that people think I will shun them for not being gay anymore. Like what am I going to say? "Aw man, you used to be cool! What happened?"

I mean I might, but I might not.

Also, what the hell, aren't there any nice single ladies in LA?