Tuesday, February 27, 2007

nothing to report

At the present time, there's nothing interesting me that I feel like writing down. For one thing, it stresses me out to discuss child-related things. The threat, however imagined, of disapproval from others leaves me tongue-tied. Like, did you know some people don't approve of Pepsi-B for babies? Ridiculous. It has a B right in the name.

I don't even want to say "I'm back at work" because of my fear that people will say "How could you leave that sweet baby?" The answer is, I extracted my heart with a corkscrew. Or so it seemed.

So let's resort to lists. Here's a list of things that make me mildly weird.

1. I can't stand being asked "What are you reading?" when I have a book in my hand. Ever since I was a child this question has filled me with inexplicable and irrational rage. I have no theory about why this is.
2. I do not like shrimp, or cheesecake. I know other people find these luxury food items irresistible. I find them revolting. But that just leaves more for you!
3. Previously-mentioned fear of ocean and its inhabitants (extends to aquariums, which I have to sprint through, in order to not die of fear). I have been in the ocean maybe 2 or 3 times, cautiously, and each time ended with me hallucinating a giant fish brushing my legs and a comically flailing race back to the beach for a delicious dose of skin cancer. Apparently the real threat of melanoma scares me less than the purely imaginary threat of fish cooties. Go figure.

1 comment:

Clementine said...

I really like your lists. They crack me up.