Thursday, August 30, 2007
boom! crash!
I do.
It probably adds to my negative karma, but that shit cracked me up.
there was kind of a trainwrecks-esque incident at work. It involved the company's fancy fenway box, raffled tickets, important customers, and a stern all-desks memo about proper behavior. All of which probably adds up to about .12 blood alcohol. I still don't know who though!
It is funny and would be funnier if it didn't mean that now I have NO chance of every winning the tickets, whereas before it was just a wee chance. Boo.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
If you feel like freaking yourself out
Emergency Procedures brainstorm
Perhaps I have a latent survivalist tendency. Though you won't catch me peering through binocs at black helicopters or stockpiling shotguns.
Emergency | Plan |
Bridges to Cambridge are blocked while I’m at work | Steal boat from boathouse |
Political coup or martial law declared nationwide | Drive far north as possible, hike into Canada |
Floodwaters rise forcing us and neighbors to third floor | Someone can stand on my shoulders and break skylight to |
Blizzard, hurricane, power outage etc make baby formula, | Formula=melted ice cream from all the thawing freezers in |
Aliens invade and enslave human race | Head for woods; live in cave while developing toxin to |
ENP destroys all electrical equipment | Camp stove; candles; carrier pigeons |
Twilight zone scenario where I’m the only person left on | mmm…shit…this one sucks….I’d probably head straight for |
Zombies | You kill zombies by shooting them in the head.Duh. |
Ice-9 | Make some snowshoes, bundle up, burn proof pages for heat |
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
The brain, it cannot keep track of itself lately.
Among topics that would be amusing if I had an attention span > 3 seconds
-member of my family who buys into 9/11 conspiracies, to my embarassment
-my attempts to hack a not-cheap baby product that turned out to be WAY lamer than its price suggested (maybe I'll leave this until I've successfully improved this sucker)
-how old and lame I've become, that I turned down an invitation to a very fun evening with some of my favorite people because of my bedtime
There. I've bored myself to sleep.
Monday, August 13, 2007
Baby Loves Bhangra
Why dont' they make such pretty and cute clothes for boys though? no fair.
We have these cats staying with us, that we are babysitting. It was for someone I don't know very well. She left them on July 2, they were supposed to stay for five weeks until she came back.
It's not such a big deal that they've stayed longer, but it is a big deal that she hasn't called or anything to say when she will really be coming. It turns out that I don't like all cats as much as I liked our old cat. These two are destructive! They rip shit up and they knock stuff down. They seem friendly but it's not a nice friendly...I call the girl one Bitey.
So this woman who owns the cats, she hasn't responded to my messages.
If she doesn't come back, hey, Free Cats for first taker!
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
ooh, selling out
Maximum Ride 3: Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports
By James Patterson
Once, many years ago, Octuplet Dazzle and I went on a trip with my parents. We each brought a handful of paperback books of airport quality, that we could read, trade, and then dump in some hostel in South America. One of these books was a James Patterson work, the title of which escapes me. It dealt with a kind-hearted veterinarian who encounters a group of genetically engineered children on the run from the Bad Scientists. The children, luckily, have an advantage, in that they can fly. It got sillier from there.
This was easily the worst of the entire batch of pretty lousy books on the trip. We may have traded it for a cup of coffee in BaƱos. Sorry, coffee vendor.
Well, at some point Patterson must have realized that even for weary travelers and people stranded in airports, tales of flying children were kind of a stretch. But the idea must have seemed too good to drop entirely, as the scenario has been tweaked and rebranded and turned into a series of books aimed at children, who presumably don’t balk at the idea that “recombinant DNA” results in children who can fly (and read minds!) And this novel is just bursting with themes that appeal to kids: Kids Alone In the Woods, Kids vs. Grownups, Loyal Friends.
The execution is strained, however. There’s a feeling of self-consciousness running through the book (to the point of having the narrator-heroine chastise the reader for starting with the third book in the series). There is also a kind of gimmicky ‘blog’ aspect introduced by one of the characters. This fourth-wall-breaking doesn’t really add much to the tale, though I laughed out loud at the ‘blog comments’, which were authentically spelled.
Past all these awkward details is a standard adventure with plenty of sci-fi elements, a band of righteous kids, and some super-super-super-villains. The story is frequently violent and I have a feeling that this series is more popular among boys than girls, despite the central character being a girl. In this respect, it’s a bit unusual--books aimed at boys almost exclusively feature boys in key roles (think CYOA books). Max, the heroine of this series, exhibits virtues generally tagged as ‘male’, though, such as toughness, aversion to tears, distaste for ‘mushy’ feelings, and physical strength, which tells me she has probably been written to appeal to boys.
And appeal she does, as the Maximum Ride series is tops on many bestseller lists. I suspect the readers overlap with fans of Eoin Colfer’s fantasy novels. If you’ve got a ten-year-old, you probably don’t need to read all these reviews anyway: you’re probably drowning in Maximum Ride titles already, and will be shelling out the clams for movie tix in 2008. It’s already a successful franchise, and I’m sure Patterson sleeps on a giant pile of hundred-dollar bills, but its shelf life is limited, and I don’t expect your grandkids to be reading this series.