Tuesday, January 18, 2005

And my eyes rolled out of my head, down the street, and out of town

The daily Moron News brings us this hard-hitting science story!

I get annoyed by entertainment--movies and tv and so on--where "gay" is used as a character all by itself. It comes from lazy, stupid writing and weak acting, obviously, but it persists because there are just too many other lazy, stupid people watching and jollying along with Jack and Will. Look! He is getting a manicure! ha ha ha! Oh! he irons his jeans! Jesus fuck, it's like 1952 on TV. Uh-oh! She asked out a boy who rides a vespa! She is in for a disappointment! It's lame, lamer than lame, hyperlame, massively boring face-slappingly hackneyed worn-out bullshit. Plus, it is not funny.
The idea behind the abovementioned article is just like that. The idea that there is anything "scientific" about having people look at dudes and guess whether they are some of those GAYS is heart-stoppingly ridiculous, obviously, but how much harm will it do? really?
Well, when I was in college, there was a girl across the hall. She was an international student, from Greece or something like that. One day we were watching Jerry Springer or some damn thing, and there was some skinhead or something on there, he said something about how some people "look jewish." Someone goggled that anyone in 199X could possibly think that way. Then the girl from across the hall goes "Well, you can tell. Jewish people look different." Well hell. That conviction, in 1930's Europe, was harmful, but in a college lounge in the present day, in a harmless college kid, is less dangerous, because context does matter, obviously. Stupid though.

So, in a context of jokey ha ha wink wink attitudes toward gays, the idea that some people can pick gays like picking winners at the track is merely stupid and annoying and will probably end in some humorous anecdotes, HO HO HO. But, in a context of governmental and institutional discrimination against gays, it's pretty fucking offensive. It de-individualizes and de-personalizes people until they become just part of a fashion trend called THE GAYS and probably ends in some nasty fucker on AM radio saying something megatasticaly obnoxious and me slashing the tires on his car.

My point being that, hey, local newspaper, stop being a bunch of fucking tools and go write about something FRESH like TEENS WITH CELL PHONES AND BELLY SHIRTS OH MY GOD CAN YOU IMAGINE.

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