Do you ever miss trainwrecks.org?
I do.
It probably adds to my negative karma, but that shit cracked me up.
there was kind of a trainwrecks-esque incident at work. It involved the company's fancy fenway box, raffled tickets, important customers, and a stern all-desks memo about proper behavior. All of which probably adds up to about .12 blood alcohol. I still don't know who though!
It is funny and would be funnier if it didn't mean that now I have NO chance of every winning the tickets, whereas before it was just a wee chance. Boo.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Thursday, August 23, 2007
If you feel like freaking yourself out
Apparently I do, cause I find this kind of satisfying.
Emergency Procedures brainstorm
Perhaps I have a latent survivalist tendency. Though you won't catch me peering through binocs at black helicopters or stockpiling shotguns.
Emergency Procedures brainstorm
Perhaps I have a latent survivalist tendency. Though you won't catch me peering through binocs at black helicopters or stockpiling shotguns.
| Emergency | Plan |
| Bridges to Cambridge are blocked while I’m at work | Steal boat from boathouse |
| Political coup or martial law declared nationwide | Drive far north as possible, hike into Canada |
| Floodwaters rise forcing us and neighbors to third floor | Someone can stand on my shoulders and break skylight to |
Blizzard, hurricane, power outage etc make baby formula, | Formula=melted ice cream from all the thawing freezers in |
Aliens invade and enslave human race | Head for woods; live in cave while developing toxin to |
ENP destroys all electrical equipment | Camp stove; candles; carrier pigeons |
Twilight zone scenario where I’m the only person left on | mmm…shit…this one sucks….I’d probably head straight for |
Zombies | You kill zombies by shooting them in the head.Duh. |
| Ice-9 | Make some snowshoes, bundle up, burn proof pages for heat |
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Tiredness makes it incredibly hard for me to focus on anything. Sometimes at the beginning of a task I have to write down the steps while I still know them, so that I don't end up staring at a pile of pages, trying to figure out where I was when I left off, or doing the almost-panicky thing I do where I compulsively click through every open window on my screen looking for an entry point back into whatever it is I'm supposed to be doing.
The brain, it cannot keep track of itself lately.
Among topics that would be amusing if I had an attention span > 3 seconds
-member of my family who buys into 9/11 conspiracies, to my embarassment
-my attempts to hack a not-cheap baby product that turned out to be WAY lamer than its price suggested (maybe I'll leave this until I've successfully improved this sucker)
-how old and lame I've become, that I turned down an invitation to a very fun evening with some of my favorite people because of my bedtime
There. I've bored myself to sleep.
The brain, it cannot keep track of itself lately.
Among topics that would be amusing if I had an attention span > 3 seconds
-member of my family who buys into 9/11 conspiracies, to my embarassment
-my attempts to hack a not-cheap baby product that turned out to be WAY lamer than its price suggested (maybe I'll leave this until I've successfully improved this sucker)
-how old and lame I've become, that I turned down an invitation to a very fun evening with some of my favorite people because of my bedtime
There. I've bored myself to sleep.
Monday, August 13, 2007
Baby Loves Bhangra
He does, he danced very energetically at India Day yesterday. In a sea of cute kids he was certainly cutest.
Why dont' they make such pretty and cute clothes for boys though? no fair.
We have these cats staying with us, that we are babysitting. It was for someone I don't know very well. She left them on July 2, they were supposed to stay for five weeks until she came back.
It's not such a big deal that they've stayed longer, but it is a big deal that she hasn't called or anything to say when she will really be coming. It turns out that I don't like all cats as much as I liked our old cat. These two are destructive! They rip shit up and they knock stuff down. They seem friendly but it's not a nice friendly...I call the girl one Bitey.
So this woman who owns the cats, she hasn't responded to my messages.
If she doesn't come back, hey, Free Cats for first taker!
Why dont' they make such pretty and cute clothes for boys though? no fair.
We have these cats staying with us, that we are babysitting. It was for someone I don't know very well. She left them on July 2, they were supposed to stay for five weeks until she came back.
It's not such a big deal that they've stayed longer, but it is a big deal that she hasn't called or anything to say when she will really be coming. It turns out that I don't like all cats as much as I liked our old cat. These two are destructive! They rip shit up and they knock stuff down. They seem friendly but it's not a nice friendly...I call the girl one Bitey.
So this woman who owns the cats, she hasn't responded to my messages.
If she doesn't come back, hey, Free Cats for first taker!
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
ooh, selling out
MotherTalk book blog tour:
Maximum Ride 3: Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports
By James Patterson
Once, many years ago, Octuplet Dazzle and I went on a trip with my parents. We each brought a handful of paperback books of airport quality, that we could read, trade, and then dump in some hostel in South America. One of these books was a James Patterson work, the title of which escapes me. It dealt with a kind-hearted veterinarian who encounters a group of genetically engineered children on the run from the Bad Scientists. The children, luckily, have an advantage, in that they can fly. It got sillier from there.
This was easily the worst of the entire batch of pretty lousy books on the trip. We may have traded it for a cup of coffee in Baños. Sorry, coffee vendor.
Well, at some point Patterson must have realized that even for weary travelers and people stranded in airports, tales of flying children were kind of a stretch. But the idea must have seemed too good to drop entirely, as the scenario has been tweaked and rebranded and turned into a series of books aimed at children, who presumably don’t balk at the idea that “recombinant DNA” results in children who can fly (and read minds!) And this novel is just bursting with themes that appeal to kids: Kids Alone In the Woods, Kids vs. Grownups, Loyal Friends.
The execution is strained, however. There’s a feeling of self-consciousness running through the book (to the point of having the narrator-heroine chastise the reader for starting with the third book in the series). There is also a kind of gimmicky ‘blog’ aspect introduced by one of the characters. This fourth-wall-breaking doesn’t really add much to the tale, though I laughed out loud at the ‘blog comments’, which were authentically spelled.
Past all these awkward details is a standard adventure with plenty of sci-fi elements, a band of righteous kids, and some super-super-super-villains. The story is frequently violent and I have a feeling that this series is more popular among boys than girls, despite the central character being a girl. In this respect, it’s a bit unusual--books aimed at boys almost exclusively feature boys in key roles (think CYOA books). Max, the heroine of this series, exhibits virtues generally tagged as ‘male’, though, such as toughness, aversion to tears, distaste for ‘mushy’ feelings, and physical strength, which tells me she has probably been written to appeal to boys.
And appeal she does, as the Maximum Ride series is tops on many bestseller lists. I suspect the readers overlap with fans of Eoin Colfer’s fantasy novels. If you’ve got a ten-year-old, you probably don’t need to read all these reviews anyway: you’re probably drowning in Maximum Ride titles already, and will be shelling out the clams for movie tix in 2008. It’s already a successful franchise, and I’m sure Patterson sleeps on a giant pile of hundred-dollar bills, but its shelf life is limited, and I don’t expect your grandkids to be reading this series.
Maximum Ride 3: Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports
By James Patterson
Once, many years ago, Octuplet Dazzle and I went on a trip with my parents. We each brought a handful of paperback books of airport quality, that we could read, trade, and then dump in some hostel in South America. One of these books was a James Patterson work, the title of which escapes me. It dealt with a kind-hearted veterinarian who encounters a group of genetically engineered children on the run from the Bad Scientists. The children, luckily, have an advantage, in that they can fly. It got sillier from there.
This was easily the worst of the entire batch of pretty lousy books on the trip. We may have traded it for a cup of coffee in Baños. Sorry, coffee vendor.
Well, at some point Patterson must have realized that even for weary travelers and people stranded in airports, tales of flying children were kind of a stretch. But the idea must have seemed too good to drop entirely, as the scenario has been tweaked and rebranded and turned into a series of books aimed at children, who presumably don’t balk at the idea that “recombinant DNA” results in children who can fly (and read minds!) And this novel is just bursting with themes that appeal to kids: Kids Alone In the Woods, Kids vs. Grownups, Loyal Friends.
The execution is strained, however. There’s a feeling of self-consciousness running through the book (to the point of having the narrator-heroine chastise the reader for starting with the third book in the series). There is also a kind of gimmicky ‘blog’ aspect introduced by one of the characters. This fourth-wall-breaking doesn’t really add much to the tale, though I laughed out loud at the ‘blog comments’, which were authentically spelled.
Past all these awkward details is a standard adventure with plenty of sci-fi elements, a band of righteous kids, and some super-super-super-villains. The story is frequently violent and I have a feeling that this series is more popular among boys than girls, despite the central character being a girl. In this respect, it’s a bit unusual--books aimed at boys almost exclusively feature boys in key roles (think CYOA books). Max, the heroine of this series, exhibits virtues generally tagged as ‘male’, though, such as toughness, aversion to tears, distaste for ‘mushy’ feelings, and physical strength, which tells me she has probably been written to appeal to boys.
And appeal she does, as the Maximum Ride series is tops on many bestseller lists. I suspect the readers overlap with fans of Eoin Colfer’s fantasy novels. If you’ve got a ten-year-old, you probably don’t need to read all these reviews anyway: you’re probably drowning in Maximum Ride titles already, and will be shelling out the clams for movie tix in 2008. It’s already a successful franchise, and I’m sure Patterson sleeps on a giant pile of hundred-dollar bills, but its shelf life is limited, and I don’t expect your grandkids to be reading this series.
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Possibly I could swim to work.
Good Morning. I already had an intense fear of bridges. Now it may slide over to "crippling". If you are on the red line today and see someone swaying and humming while hyperventilating with their eyes closed tight as you're pulling into Charles, say hi!
Monday, July 30, 2007
Jokester
Not Exactly Stephen Colbert, but it played well to the crowd.
Now, almost anything will make him laugh. Tickling. Dancing. Jumping. Words beginning with 'B'. But this was the first time I noticed that he created a joke of his own. He was sitting in his crib drinking his bottle. We were gathered around trying to convince him that yes, it was indeed bedtime and he hadn't had a nap all day so what the hell? He was ignoring these reasonable pleas, sucking on the bottle and chattering away. I opened my mouth and he reached up and stuck the bottle in my mouth and laughed SO hard.
A much better milestone than dumb old teeth, right?
Now, almost anything will make him laugh. Tickling. Dancing. Jumping. Words beginning with 'B'. But this was the first time I noticed that he created a joke of his own. He was sitting in his crib drinking his bottle. We were gathered around trying to convince him that yes, it was indeed bedtime and he hadn't had a nap all day so what the hell? He was ignoring these reasonable pleas, sucking on the bottle and chattering away. I opened my mouth and he reached up and stuck the bottle in my mouth and laughed SO hard.
A much better milestone than dumb old teeth, right?
Thursday, July 19, 2007
It's Business Candy
how early is too early to eat the vendor candy out of the proof packages?
I've been here since 8.
If that makes a difference.
Secret message for fellow nerds:
OMG 38h40m!!!!
I've been here since 8.
If that makes a difference.
Secret message for fellow nerds:
OMG 38h40m!!!!
Monday, July 09, 2007
Baby's Social Calendar
There was a funeral last week, and a wedding this week, and in another couple weeks is the great-grandparents' 60th wedding anniversary. We're logging a lot of carseat miles lately. Also becoming familiar with all of New England's rest areas. (Maine? could you please get some damn coffee? We are tired)
If you try to sit the kid on his butt, he stiffens his legs so he can 'stand'. Maybe he likes being all tall (all twenty-six inches tall) and looking around like the big kids. Speaking of big kids, he cannot get enough of them. And not just because they don't know the rules about no cookies for babies.
See him break it down with Gramma.
If you try to sit the kid on his butt, he stiffens his legs so he can 'stand'. Maybe he likes being all tall (all twenty-six inches tall) and looking around like the big kids. Speaking of big kids, he cannot get enough of them. And not just because they don't know the rules about no cookies for babies.
See him break it down with Gramma.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
The State
I know I don't blog about the baby much. Why? I dunno. He's always on my mind.
Here's the status
-he sits
-he claps his hands with glee
-he strums the guitar (the one that the burglars missed! ha! suck it, burglars!)
-he drinks from a glass if you hold it
-he wakes up throughout the night demanding food
-he rejects his crib
-he laughs all day
-he pulls hair
-he pinches faces
-he waves his right hand in an adorable manner
-he eats gallons of yogurt
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Sunday, June 17, 2007
oh my gosh! I have arrived!!
I got my first ever jackass commenter!!!
oh my gosh!
I can't believe it!
I am a Real Blogger Now, baby.
hee!
Oh I also wanted to point out this quote. The writer looks to the future with a wonderful sense of optimism and promise:
"It is only a matter of time before a same-sex couple married in Massachusetts finds a federal judge prepared to rule that under the US Constitution, their marriage license must be granted ''full faith and credit'' by every other state. Same-sex marriage will be the law of the land."
Thanks Jeff Jacoby! May it be so and in our lifetime!
heh!
oh my gosh!
I can't believe it!
I am a Real Blogger Now, baby.
hee!
Oh I also wanted to point out this quote. The writer looks to the future with a wonderful sense of optimism and promise:
"It is only a matter of time before a same-sex couple married in Massachusetts finds a federal judge prepared to rule that under the US Constitution, their marriage license must be granted ''full faith and credit'' by every other state. Same-sex marriage will be the law of the land."
Thanks Jeff Jacoby! May it be so and in our lifetime!
heh!
Thursday, June 14, 2007
reports greatly exaggerated
So I envisioned an all day vigil and shit. with dickering and filibusters. etc.
Instead I clicked over to the webcast and heard Murray say, "The speaker will call the roll,"
And then
pulse a racing
I listened and ticked off the NOs. 34!
And then, the machine vote began
(MUCH less dramatic, any screenwriters, take note, always use the roll call verbal vote in your movies)
And then...
it was over!
so quick. And now we have until 2012 at the least to just live, and breathe, and not worry. I would say I'll sleep better, but I definitely will not and for an entirely unrelated reason *cough*babykicksalot*cough*.
Anyway, I must thank the no voters, and I can even muster a little nod in the direction of the bathroom breakers who did not vote. Whatever it takes.
Instead I clicked over to the webcast and heard Murray say, "The speaker will call the roll,"
And then
pulse a racing
I listened and ticked off the NOs. 34!
And then, the machine vote began
(MUCH less dramatic, any screenwriters, take note, always use the roll call verbal vote in your movies)
And then...
it was over!
so quick. And now we have until 2012 at the least to just live, and breathe, and not worry. I would say I'll sleep better, but I definitely will not and for an entirely unrelated reason *cough*babykicksalot*cough*.
Anyway, I must thank the no voters, and I can even muster a little nod in the direction of the bathroom breakers who did not vote. Whatever it takes.
ConCon: Con Comme Un Sac des Marteaux
Just brushing up, in case we have to move to Canada.
For everyone on the edge of their seats, yet still trapped in their seats by the iron fist of Summer Hours, a list of the liveblogs of le concon con.
some dude's blog
bay windows
TV!
For everyone on the edge of their seats, yet still trapped in their seats by the iron fist of Summer Hours, a list of the liveblogs of le concon con.
some dude's blog
bay windows
TV!
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
but, but, I do not want them in my boat
As crazy as I find these people, I have to admit I don't understand why what they do is necessarily illegal. A lot of people have bunches of babydaddys/babymamas right? So who cares if they're doing it because they think god said so or any other reason?
They certainly wouldn't do the same for me but I say leave them to their eccentric life.
Meanwhile, in saner planes, there is a big important vote on Thursday. I am feeling fairly pessimistic and helpless about it. On one side you have people who would do anything to 'punish' me and my family, they are so invested in the idea that we're Wrong Wrong Wrong. In the middle you have people who share that feeling deep down, but are conflicted due to their belief in fairness, and cover it all up with the assertion that the Majority Should Rule, the People Must Vote, etc. On this side (the side of Right and Good, obviously), there are some very optimistic lobbyists who hope to change eight minds from the two previous categories, by Thursday.
You might be able to see why I am not terribly hopeful. People don't change their minds very often. Usually you need new information in order to change your mind. And all the information is already on the table:
-taking away marriage is mean and unfair
-letting a hostile majority vote on minority rights is disastrous
-get ready for another year of nasty nasty talk and those recorded phone calls*
They know what they are doing. And they are willing to do it. How can you change minds like that?
I am worried. I am worried for the state, I am worried for everyone who might want to get married in the future, I am worried for my own family. They say nothing will change for us personally but I'm sure that's what they said in Michigan and Wisconsin and Virginia and everywhere else, and it certainly did.
*these recorded phone messages make my blood boil with the heat of 1000 suns. it is beyond infuriating to pick up the phone and hear a disembodied voice saying that you don't deserve your rights AND YOU CAN'T EVEN YELL AT IT BECAUSE IT IS A RECORDING.
They certainly wouldn't do the same for me but I say leave them to their eccentric life.
Meanwhile, in saner planes, there is a big important vote on Thursday. I am feeling fairly pessimistic and helpless about it. On one side you have people who would do anything to 'punish' me and my family, they are so invested in the idea that we're Wrong Wrong Wrong. In the middle you have people who share that feeling deep down, but are conflicted due to their belief in fairness, and cover it all up with the assertion that the Majority Should Rule, the People Must Vote, etc. On this side (the side of Right and Good, obviously), there are some very optimistic lobbyists who hope to change eight minds from the two previous categories, by Thursday.
You might be able to see why I am not terribly hopeful. People don't change their minds very often. Usually you need new information in order to change your mind. And all the information is already on the table:
-taking away marriage is mean and unfair
-letting a hostile majority vote on minority rights is disastrous
-get ready for another year of nasty nasty talk and those recorded phone calls*
They know what they are doing. And they are willing to do it. How can you change minds like that?
I am worried. I am worried for the state, I am worried for everyone who might want to get married in the future, I am worried for my own family. They say nothing will change for us personally but I'm sure that's what they said in Michigan and Wisconsin and Virginia and everywhere else, and it certainly did.
*these recorded phone messages make my blood boil with the heat of 1000 suns. it is beyond infuriating to pick up the phone and hear a disembodied voice saying that you don't deserve your rights AND YOU CAN'T EVEN YELL AT IT BECAUSE IT IS A RECORDING.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Where Were You Three Years Ago Today?
I was at work, and utterly exhausted from having stayed up until 4 AM.
It was the Best Night Ever though.
i am in this picture but only barely.
It was the Best Night Ever though.
i am in this picture but only barely.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
parties for jerks
Last week some "important" people showed up from HQ and canned about 15 people. "Business needs," they said. "Budget slow sales project schedules blah blah you're fired!"
This was just the latest round...they've visited a couple times over the past few months. It's become so that when they show up, we know what's going down. When there's a meeting on short notice in the middle of the day, we know. It's always bad news.
Anyway, this week one of those VIPs is retiring. Needless to say the company is making a huge fuss about it. She's having a fete in each remote office (total eight! eight parties) and we were all bullied into signing a going-away book for her. Well. I don't know if anyone else felt bullied. But I felt super phony and gross signing it. But someone handed it to me and said "sign the page!"
Like yay! You're leaving and you get cake! Everyone you just fired gets no cake, no job, no health insurance!
I had a dream that they came in and said, anyone who is planning to take vacation days-you're fired.
I believe I have, how you say, resentment?
This was just the latest round...they've visited a couple times over the past few months. It's become so that when they show up, we know what's going down. When there's a meeting on short notice in the middle of the day, we know. It's always bad news.
Anyway, this week one of those VIPs is retiring. Needless to say the company is making a huge fuss about it. She's having a fete in each remote office (total eight! eight parties) and we were all bullied into signing a going-away book for her. Well. I don't know if anyone else felt bullied. But I felt super phony and gross signing it. But someone handed it to me and said "sign the page!"
Like yay! You're leaving and you get cake! Everyone you just fired gets no cake, no job, no health insurance!
I had a dream that they came in and said, anyone who is planning to take vacation days-you're fired.
I believe I have, how you say, resentment?
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
cousins who care
I got the saddest text message on my cell phone
"You know we're still cousin's [sic]
even though you
don't talk to me anymore.
This is Rahshaan just in case you forgot. Love Ya."
aw
Is a wrong number making Rahshaan's cousin look like a douchebag?
Or did Rahshaan's cousin change his number to escape Rahshaan?
Either way I had to respond with "sry wrong numbr" (I have never gotten the hang of text messaging. I'm OLD, yo.) It was too mean to leave Rahshaan hanging. Thinking his cousin was ignoring his texts.
I am just worried he will think it a humorous joke or a brushoff. Much like Ersatz Shirky McLazy's mother did.
I also get calls for Raji.
I do not know him either.
How many people had my damn number?
"You know we're still cousin's [sic]
even though you
don't talk to me anymore.
This is Rahshaan just in case you forgot. Love Ya."
aw
Is a wrong number making Rahshaan's cousin look like a douchebag?
Or did Rahshaan's cousin change his number to escape Rahshaan?
Either way I had to respond with "sry wrong numbr" (I have never gotten the hang of text messaging. I'm OLD, yo.) It was too mean to leave Rahshaan hanging. Thinking his cousin was ignoring his texts.
I am just worried he will think it a humorous joke or a brushoff. Much like Ersatz Shirky McLazy's mother did.
I also get calls for Raji.
I do not know him either.
How many people had my damn number?
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Fuckers!
If you happen to see a three-man band of buskers with guitar, violin, and churango, be a pal and let me know, I gotta come kick their music-loving asses.
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